Words, Words, Words
by helenluvsboo
Summary: Draco Malfoy tries to work through his interest in Hermione Granger. An exercise in words. Blatantly Dramione.
1. Chapter 1: Madness

**Mad**; adjective, mad·der, mad·dest, noun, verb, mad·ded, mad·ding.

1. mentally disturbed; deranged; insane; demented.

2. enraged; greatly provoked or irritated; angry.

3. (of animals)

a. abnormally furious; ferocious: a mad bull.

b. affected with rabies; rabid: a mad dog.

4. extremely foolish or unwise; imprudent; irrational: a mad scheme to invade France.

5. wildly excited or confused; frantic: mad haste.

6. overcome by desire, eagerness, enthusiasm, etc.; excessively or uncontrollably fond; infatuated: He's mad about the opera.

7. wildly gay or merry; enjoyably hilarious: to have a mad time at the Mardi Gras.

8. (of wind, storms, etc.) furious in violence: A mad gale swept across the channel.

* * *

It was maddening, this need to look at her.

Maybe he should turn himself into Saint Mungo's for some sort of treatment . . . if such a treatment existed in the wizarding world.

That's what his parents would do if they knew how he watched her, wanted her, dreamed of her every single night. The Golden Girl. His golden girl. The golden girl that he wished was his.

Every move she made, he saw.

The way her eyes lit up when she got an answer right in class. The way she tapped her bottom lip with her quill when she worked on her essays in the library. The way she smiled in her sleep when she fell asleep in the big chair in the corner over there.

Sometimes, he pretends that she's dreaming of him, that she's secretly attracted to him too.

He know that's a foolish thought. As if she would ever look twice at the boy who's caused her so much pain in their years at school.

He knows that he's very attractive, he knows that women from all four houses watch him in the way that he watches her, he knows that he has an attractive body, beautiful silky white-blond hair, and a shining smile.

Problem is, the smile's never real.

She's the only one who makes him smile for real.

When he thinks of her, when no one is around. When she smiles happily, the sight makes him want to smile with her.

That's one of his favourite fantasies: working beside her in class, his knee bumping hers, matching her smile-for-smile every time they touch.

His other favourites involve alabaster skin sliding against alabaster skin, fingers tangled in hair, and lips everywhere. He imagines making love to her more than a boyfriend would, let alone a sworn enemy.

He tried to tell himself that it was wrong, that he was better than this, that she didn't deserve him, but a tiny voice always whispered back that it felt too good to be wrong, that no one is too good for this, and that he doesn't deserve her.

He wants her so badly it's consuming.

He needs a fix so he can get her off his mind.

* * *

I am a big fan of Dramione and I love antihero characters. Their development is always so interesting. I was trying to challenge myself by writing with word prompts, and this happened. Hope you all enjoyed it!


	2. Chapter 2: Knowledge

**knowl·edge**; noun

1. acquaintance with facts, truths, or principles, as from study or investigation; general erudition: knowledge of many things.

2. familiarity or conversance, as with a particular subject or branch of learning: A knowledge of accounting was necessary for the job.

3. acquaintance or familiarity gained by sight, experience, or report: a knowledge of human nature.

4. the fact or state of knowing; the perception of fact or truth; clear and certain mental apprehension.

5. awareness, as of a fact or circumstance: He had knowledge of her good fortune.

6. something that is or may be known; information: He sought knowledge of her activities.

7. the body of truths or facts accumulated in the course of time.

8. the sum of what is known: Knowledge of the true situation is limited.

9. Archaic. sexual intercourse. Compare carnal knowledge.

* * *

He wonders if it is possible to know too much? To learn too much?

It's clear that knowledge is power, especially in the wizarding world. One need only look at He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named or at Dumbledore to see that.

But both of them are also very . . . alone. And Draco doesn't want that for himself in the future. Ever. He's been alone his whole life and he's tired of it. Perhaps that's why he's drawn to her. Because she's the most kind, open-minded person at Hogwarts that he knows and he feels like she would be the most likely to accept him.

He spends too much time trying to figure out a way to spend time with her.

Days in the library. Nights in the restricted section.

This isn't healthy, isn't acceptable isn't . . . normal for a Malfoy. But she fascinates him. So much of his time spent competing with her, glaring at her, hating her . . . of course it evolved, changed, grew. Now he spends time in awe of her fierce competitive spirit, watching her, loving her . . .

She is just so good, so caring, so open, and he wishes with all his heart that those could be directed at him. That the word ferret would melt away and the word friend would take its place.

He knows that will never happen, cannot ever happen, would not ever happen.

So he decides to become someone else.

A book in the restricted section gives him the answer he is looking for.

* * *

I don't own Harry Potter. I hope you all enjoy this.


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